all by myself

All by myself.

Some roads are destined to be walked alone; some decision meant to be made by one self; and some misery only could be understand all by myself.

when I was young, I never needed anyone. But those days had gone. 

For some reasons, I personally prefer the Eric Carmen's version of All By Myself rather than Celion Dion's version. I love Eric's husky voice, and it really value up the whole song with extra doze of masculine and little bit melancholy. Then, I found myself lonely and totally immersed in the song. All by myself.

It is about breaking the rule

In Mcdonald now, rushing the internship report that as scheduled by now should be in the hand of my lecturer. But students always want to challenge the unchallengeable, we trying to expand the limit of tolerance of lecturers. It is normal, and it is obligation to do so. (hahaha...)

I find myself superbly reluctant in producing this report, partially it is due to the complex feelings of this report brings to me, and another bigger part will be my out of academic tuning writing style, god knows how many times I had erased my drafts. I can't get the inspirations that usually be there when I need to write an academical report. 

Drank too much of coffee, my stomach is cramping now, although it is still not to the extent of heavy soreness, but somehow it makes me feel not comfortable and I keep on losing my focus on the writing. Please give me 1 day that I can extremely focus on what I should do, I don't want to keep on having this pending, I am sicked of pending! 

I should write more, but I need to do something more important....

just to leave a mark here, I am currently doing the Maxis Scholarship stuff...and I have so damn many of inquiries concerning with the scholarship! Story when I have the time~ 

少壮不努力，老大徒悲哀。

小的时候不懂大人嘴里的一些道理，那时候特别觉得不关自己的事，甚至觉得那是耳边风。当年级逐渐长大，有一些事情发生了，才惊觉自己对于很多事情都只执著于感觉，说白一点，就为了那数十秒肾上腺素暴增的感觉。冲动的年少时，不觉得后悔是一个足以吞噬一个人的梦魇。
停下了脚步，回首这几年走过的路，其实也没有什么不好的，只是当我还在那个年级里面时，会误以为那些疯狂的年华便是我最向往的，当初的我真的这样以为着。在大学里，我算不上是成绩相当优秀的学生，但寒守挑灯我成绩其实已经很不错了，然后也参加了满多的活动，可以算是活出自己。
或许，在读着我部落格的你是本地公私立大专院校毕业的，你会觉得这样的曾经，其实已经值得白发苍苍时，回想然后细细回味，我当初也这样认为，直到我的视野因为工作而变得宽大，才看到身边一群群非常才华横溢的人，那种自卑感油然而生。

Sicked like hell (I need a break)

I skipped my work again, it is already third time in my just less than 2 months internship. I am so screwed.
But really caught in very very bad sickness, I even missed the Public Bank Management Trainee interview, which I felt extremely ruined, luckily the person in charged understood about my situation, and put me into next week session, just pray harder my health will be fine at that time.