Dahmer

It is not something new about me obsessively watching Serial Killer's movie.

Just to clarify, I am not a psychopath who wanted pursue my interest after them, for me it is somehow quite interesting in analysis their intention, behavior (especially why they commit sadistic crimes).

okay, let's get some bridging about the focus of the movie "Dahmer". The protagonist named as Jeffrey Dahmer (finger-crossed, I am kind of having prejudice towards person who called as Jeffrey, probably will confirm not naming my child as Jeffrey. Seriously having bad bad bad impression to Jeffrey). he has committed killing on a dozen plus of people, and all of them were guys, Jeffrey himself is gay, and his sexual preference is a bit too not-laymanly. He needs extraordinary trigger to get sexually arouse, especially bathing in blood, eating corpse (yes, cannibalism, try google cannibalism, the top in list of related person is Jeffrey Dahmer)and etc, mostly related to pervert acts.

That was a scene in the movie which make me feel so so so sick, he literally drilled a living person(on drug dy, so maybe not in pain gua~~) head!!!I mean it is something so SAW, shouldn't movie be not that closed to our life? my mom used to say, ceh!it is just movie, it is not real!!but hallo!!this really happened!!cognition clashes over here, need some time to calm down.

 My girl was a bit scared to my recent over-obsession on serial killer, hehehehe...(it is good to freak her out,let her know how terrible if you Kacau a man!!!)

I was jotting down some notes while watching the movie, will try to put it here.
Jeffrey Dahmer
Homosexual
Hid victim's skull in a wooden box (Classical yet anomalous)
owned a headless manicant in closet (emm..he stole it to be precise)

early signs of serial killer
violent (which I met this perfectly)
uncontrolled anger
excessive aggression
stay at home when parent invite for outing?(anti-socialize)

 Reading through the materials of serial killers, it somehow pop out an idea in my mind, perhaps Forensic Psychology sounds funny to me, and I don't mind to spend my whole life in studying killers (although it's actually sounds weird here,hehehe)

 BTW and FYI, 3 more weeks to go for graduation and soon to posting at Maxis.

Dilemma

有一种游离于现实与浮华幻想之间的感觉。 原来，自己的视角总是堆积在遗憾、失去的那一边，这样比重便倾斜了一边，一切不再协和平衡。 我不喜欢逆于自己的感受，特别是我要的东西，但是现实总不会这么如意，所以我选择由时间替我作决定，这可以是一种软弱，也是可以是一种病态。当现实无可奈何要接受时，我早已经讲一切责任推卸给时间、别人和云云众生，一切对象，唯独自己。 所以，最后的时候，我要的是什么，好像已经追究不了了，大概吞太多死猫过后，和任由自我放弃后，我已经忘了，忘了所谓的初衷。 有一种迷幻与现实的感觉，但我知道这决不是一种好事。

Hallo Maxis！！！

烦恼了数个星期的事情，终于告了一个段落。 7月1日，我便要到Maxis的Human Resource报到见习了！ Wish me luck.

天使

今天睡醒时，心情还是不好，大概昨晚的颓累还未洗去，也可能是我还耿耿于怀，始终理清谷中的逻辑。 但是，自我到书房打打写写功课之余时，许多位的天使安插在我身边，为我苦闷的心情慢慢地弄走。 第一位天使，我的GP，gay partner。我想，他大概是看到了我昨晚在面子书上写的东西，所以仅这一天耍嘴皮子，向我卖乖。尽管有点恶心，但是听了心还是甜甜的。那一下子真的有一种有他在身边的感觉真的不错。 第二位天使是一位冰雪天使，就看上去，他的人的确是冰冰冷冷的，好像有一种冰霜美人的模样，而实在也的确有拒人于千外之意。我和她最近一直处在断断续续联络的状况，我们一直以来都很好，但是我们都分隔两地，而且各自都在忙碌巢着自己梦想堡垒，联络自然不会很频密。曾经我们都认清这种相处模式，并认为这样的方式对我们之间很好。反正我们是那种重质多过于重量的朋友，其实事实证明了，事情不能这样如意。少了联系，便会莫名地感到陌生，虽然彼此无这样的意思，但是时间总是在着一些什么。幸运的是，我们最后又找回彼此了，我想说虽然人家常说朋友不能一辈子，但无疑的是对着你，对着我，我们总有一种无需多以解释的默契。且，有深深地认为有你真好。 第三位天使是我的不同父不同母的兄弟。这辈子能够认识他，我真的觉得自己很受幸运之神眷恋。至少，从很本质的基础上看，我和他绝对原自于不同的世界。但在很多时候，就算是不同世界的人，也能碰撞在一起，制作出令人喷饭、喷血、愉悦、伤心的事情。他是那种，你知道这一辈子永远都不会背叛你的人，唯独对他，那种坦荡荡可以到这么直接。无论他到了这个世界的那一个角落，我都能够确信我们能够好好的，永远地相知相惜。 第四位天使，我不想说什么，她是一位特别的人，对她有着一些亏欠、怜悯与厌恶。